After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
