Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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