My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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