Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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