so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
