Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize