shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
