Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
