Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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