I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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