his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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