I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
