I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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