the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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