It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
