Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize