the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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