Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
