both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
