you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
