your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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