Buhtt sex?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize