She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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