I'm sorry my penis didn't work
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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