I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He is an equal opportunity slut.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
