I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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