I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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