We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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