The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
