So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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