Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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