D3 body, D1 cock
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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