Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Randomize