Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
