wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
