I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
