i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just had sex bonerless
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize