The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
