the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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