So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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