called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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