I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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