I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
