and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize