She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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