I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
