I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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