You're my little dorito
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
