i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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