I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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