Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
