I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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