Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why are your pants in the freezer?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
