you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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