my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize