sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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