watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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